汇报时间:2022年3月10日 18:30——20:00
汇报地点:思学楼B108
汇报学生:陈秋如
指导教师:李虎
汇报题目:《机辆部规章制度汇编》
参与导师:李虎、胥瑾、何姗、胡登攀
内容简介:
该文本选自《机辆部规章制度汇编》,由中国路桥有限责任公司蒙内铁路运营公司编制,属于信息型文本,选取该文本第386—435页的内容,一共18267字。该部分内容介绍了机车鉴定办法,探伤工作管理办法,轮对管理办法,互换配件管理办法,机车履历管理制度,车辆检修质量“三检一验”办法,工艺装备管理办法,机务技术保障细则。
译文修改:
例1:
ST: 机车鉴定工作完成后,要做好分析、总结,填写鉴定成绩表,十日内将鉴定总结和鉴定成绩报机辆部。
TT1: Based on analysis, summary and ratings of the appraisal shall be submitted to Department of Locomotive & Rolling Stock within 10 days after the appraisal.
TT2: After the appraisal, analysis shall be conducted. Summary and ratings of the appraisal shall be made and submitted to Department of Locomotive & Rolling Stock within 10 days.
反思:第一个版本中,我将“要做好分析、总结”处理为“基于分析”,删减“填写鉴定成绩表”。老师们认为规章制度的作用在于提供操作指导,因此不能省译步骤。所以建议我从分析处断句,将原句切分成两个句子。
例2:
ST: 蒙内机辆探伤工作实行分级负责,统一管理。探伤工作由机辆部设备工程师负责组织,维保厂家设独立的探伤班组,探伤组业务上受主管专业工程师指导,行政上受维保厂家领导。探伤工作具体分工如下:
TT1: The flaw detection of locomotives shall be carried out with graded responsibilities and unified management. The equipment engineer in Department of Locomotive & Rolling Stock is in charge of organization; Maintenance unit sets up an independent flaw detection team, who is technically directed by chief expert engineer and administratively led by the Unit. The work division of flaw detection is as follows:
TT2: The flaw detection of locomotives shall be carried out under the general leadership. The equipment engineer in Department of Locomotive & Rolling Stock is in charge of organization; Maintenance manufacturer sets up an independent flaw detection team, who is technically directed by chief expert engineer and administratively led by the manufacturer. The work division of flaw detection is as follows:
反思:这一句我主要是不确定应该如何处理“分级负责,统一管理”这样的中式表达。老师们认为,这种提纲式的句子可以直接删除,但是由于后文很多段落都是这样的形式,如果都进行删除,做法欠妥当。于是建议我将分级负责和统一管理分开理解,只需要在这一句翻译统一管理,后文则是对分级负责进行详细的解释,故可以省译。
例3:
ST: 严格执行“五不探制度”,督促、检查探伤人员严格执行探伤范围、标准、工艺及有关规章制度,做到不简化、不漏探,确保探伤质量。
TT1: Strictly following “five no flaw detection” rules, urging and inspecting the detectors to operate in accordance with the scope, standard, process and regulations of flaw detection, avoid simplification and omission for the flaw detection quality.
TT2: Strictly following “five rules of no flaw detection”, urging and inspecting the detection operators to operate in accordance with the scope, standard, process and regulations, avoiding underwork to guarantee the accuracy of flaw detection work.
反思:这一句的难点在于“五不探制度,不简化、不漏探”的翻译。文本中存在很多五不探制度这样的标题,因此要在理解其具体含义之后进行翻译,五不探制度实际上指的是不进行探伤的五个条例。不简化、不漏探的翻译,老师们认为非常机械,建议我译为underwork。
例4:
ST: 督促相关班组将探伤范围内的配件送往指定地点,对漏送的配件及时通知有关工长、质检员制止装车使用。
TT1: Urging and supervising relevant teams to send parts within the scope of flaw detection to the designated sites, and timely informing foremen and quality inspectors concerned to stop assembly in case of missed parts.
TT2: Urging and supervising relevant teams to send parts which shall be inspected to the designated sites, and timely informing foremen and quality inspectors concerned to stop assembly in the case of omitted parts.
反思:这一句也存在对原文理解不到位的问题,探伤范围内的配件实际上指的是应该被探伤的配件,所以原来的翻译还需要进行优化。漏送的配件译为missed不妥当,因为miss有丢失的意思,会产生歧义。
例5:
ST: 因检测手段、检测设备变动等原因,造成探伤人员工作环境、作业条件、劳动强度等变化时,主管工程师、检修副主任要及时向安全员反映情况,安全员按有关规定对探伤人员劳动保护的品种及数量进行变更。
TT1: In case of changes in operation environment, operation conditions and working intensity of flaw detectors caused by changes in the methods and equipment of detection, the engineer in charge and deputy maintenance director shall immediately report to the HSE engineer, who shall then change the type and quantity of labor protection appliance of flaw detectors according to regulations.
TT2: When working environment, operation conditions and working intensity of flaw detection operators change due to changes in the methods and equipment of inspection, the engineer in charge and deputy maintenance director shall immediately report to the HSE engineer, who shall then change the type and quantity of labor protection appliance of flaw detection operators according to regulations.
反思:译文1对第一句条件状语的翻译不清晰很绕,老师们认为可以直接用when引导的状语从句翻译,根据英文中名词化现象的特点,将caused by替换为due to,更符合英文的表达习惯。
例6:
ST: 工作中应避免强磁场干扰和强振荡,连续开机时间超过2小时,应停机降温15分钟。
TT1: Strong magnetic field interference and strong oscillation shall be avoided in the work. And continuous operation over 2 hours shall be followed by 15 minutes’ shutdown for cooling.
TT2: Strong magnetic field interference and strong oscillation shall be avoided in the work. And the instruments shall be stopped for cooling for 15 minutes after continuous operation over 2 hours.
反思:在第一个版本的翻译中,我为了照顾英文善用名词的习惯,将“开机,停机”都处理成了名词,但参与研讨的老师认为这样的翻译很奇怪,反而适得其反。因此建议我将“停机”译为stop,将“连续开机时间超过2小时”处理为“after continuous operation over 2 hours”。
例7:
ST: 每月由主管工程师、安全员、维保厂家负责人具体负责检查、落实探伤人员劳动保护工作,检查内容包括劳动保护发放是否及时,数量是否符合定量标准、质量是否符合要求。检查发现的问题要及时与有关部门协调,予以纠正。
TT1: Every month, the chief engineers, HSE engineers and maintenance factory heads shall inspect the implementation of the labor protection of flaw detectors to make sure the distribution of labor protection is timely and conforms with the quantitative and qualitative standards. The problems found during the inspection shall be timely coordinated with and rectified by departments concerned.
TT2: Every month, the chief engineers, HSE engineers and maintenance factory heads shall inspect labor protection provided for flaw detection operators to make sure that the sufficient labor protection appliances with standard quality is timely distributed. The problems found during the inspection shall be timely coordinated with and rectified by departments concerned.
反思:长句是本翻译文本的特点之一。本句将“检查内容。。。”译为to引导的目的状语,然后对中文原文进行了重新理解,转换为“检查的目的是为了确保符合要求的,足够的劳动保护用品被及时发放”。更容易被译文读者接受。
例8:
ST: 轮对履历薄填满后,只能增续不允许更新,履历薄随轮对转移。
TT1: When the wheel-set logbook is written, addition of logbook is allowed instead of updating. The logbook shall be transferred with the wheel-set.
TT2: When the whole wheel-set logbook is written up, it shall be extended rather than replaced. The logbook shall be transferred with the wheel-set.
反思:这一句我对“更新”这个词错误,update在英文中指的是计算机软件版本的更新,而在本句中,更新指的是机车履历簿的替换,因此可以用replace来翻译。
总结:此次翻译研讨,我受益匪浅。原文中有很多口号,中文式表达,老师们认为我对这样的文本的理解仅仅是停留在字面上,没有深入挖掘文本背后的真实意义,因此译文只是对原文的机械翻译,没有体现个人的思考。由于原文本属于信息型文本,因此在翻译过程中,为了便于译语读者的理解,应该对原文进行重新理解,调整措辞或语序,准确的传递信息。